Midnight
by mistywabbit
Summary: Set between Midwinter and Midsummer in RotG, this fic contains some of Numair's random wonderings as he and Daine spend a night off together in the Palace Gardens. No.1 in the Awakening Trilogy


**Hi guys. So I read the word Midnight today, and was inspired! No, really. So this is what I pounded out! That means however, that the grammar is probably all over the place because I haven't polished it as much as I normally would… It's a (very) lengthy one shot between Daine and Numair, set between Midwinter and Midsummer in RotG.**

**I should have more of Love, Loss and Life up by the weekend, if you haven't already read today's update.**

**Anyway, please review!**

**Disclaimer: none of the character are mine (they're unsurprisingly, Tamora Pierce's, only the plot is, and that's only because it happened to cross through my mind on a random train of thought… oh, and that was because I read Trisana McGraw's fic Romantic Notions, about **_**that**_** night between Raoul and Buri… go read it – it's very good! Oh, and thank you for putting the word 'midnight' in there…**

– **edited 21/07/09 for typos etc. – **

**Midnight**

* * *

Midnight. The colour of her gown as she lies on the ground next to me, gazing at the sky.

We are supposed to be watching the stars, at my suggestion, but I can't help but feel my blood fizzle warmly at her nearness. I can't help but watch her, from the corner of my eye.

This is wrong. She is so young. So unprepared. So naïve, so childlike in her trust of me. In her eyes I am too honourable to feel or do anything of the sort I desire towards her. I should be. _I am_.

"Are we supposed to be looking at anything in particular, Numair? Or did you just feel that to punish your student by making her lie on the cold, hard ground in a dress would be fun?" Her tone is light and teasing, but I know she is cold nonetheless. The early spring air has a chill to it, and I take off my robe, handing it to her. She smiles gratefully. "Patience is a virtue, magelet, one -"

"One I should learn to cultivate, yes Numair, I know." I grin. She is right, she knows me too well.

Still she shivers. "You know, magelet, you would think, given the different geographical locations of our upbringings, you would be far less susceptible to the cold than I am."

She scowls. "Do you have to speak in a scholarly manner about everything?"

"I believe so."

She mutters something inaudible by my side, and I try to keep the laughter inside me, although a single snort escapes from my mouth. She does not see the funny side.

I pull her into a sitting position, wrapping the cloak she has bundled over herself securely around her shoulders. She tugs at it for a moment, adjusting it to suit her, then smiles. She is ready. I call my Gift to my hands; it comes quick and eagerly, an old friend, always there to rely on. Gently I place my hands on her shoulders, binding my magic to the cloak. My warmth will wrap around her, I know.

She smiles, grateful. "Does that suit her ladyship?" I ask her teasingly. "Would she like me to maybe adjust the softness of the ground so it is more comfortable for her, perhaps?"

"Well, now that you mention it," she giggles. I sigh. I lie back down, stretch out an arm. She leans back on it, using it as a pillow, warm in the crook of my arm. I glance down at her, and through her mass of hair she looks up, her stormy eyes meeting mine, sparkling with happiness.

I remember when I first met her, when I was stuck in a foreign shape without my Gift. She had nursed me, and I had known there was something special about her then, that she had a magic, although the type and strength of which I could not have anticipated in my wildest dreams. Never had I known someone to be so brimming with power and be unaware of it. I remember her eyes then though, as she fed me, and later, as I was a human, talked to me. Shy and untrusting. Sad. She had been hurt so deeply she believed she could never be happy again, that she would never trust a human again. When she finally shared her story, I was surprised she'd even managed to bring herself to tell us that. I know now that the Badger had made her, and that he is not a God whose requests, or demands, are to be taken lightly, but still.

The fact that she could trust so deeply that she could bring an Empire to its knees was unthinkable. But she had. In anger and grief, she had almost single-handedly rid Carthak of Ozorne's rule and destroyed an entire Palace, crippled an army and all in the name of her dead teacher. She did it for me.

That thought, that compliment was so overwhelming. It was indeed, one of the greatest things she could ever do for me. Knowing that our friendship meant so much to her was enough for me. Or so I tell myself now.

When the barrier had come down, when I had felt her as though she was next to me, close enough to feel her eyelashes on my cheek, when I had realised… I shake the thought from my head and my charge looks up at me curiously.

"Stiff neck," I tell her.

"It's your own fault," she tells me, world-weary for all her sixteen years. "We could be inside, in the warmth. We could be dancing and eating and with our friends. Instead though, on one of the few nights off we have had since Midwinter, when we finally get the chance to socialise, and to sleep in a _real_ bed, you have us lying out here, in the cold. You deserve every aching muscle you get from this," she tells me, voice deadly serious.

"You could go inside if you wanted, magelet," I remind her. "You are under no obligation to be out here with me."

"And leave you to get into trouble by yourself?" she snorts.

"What possible trouble could I get into in the Palace grounds?"

"Knowing you, anything's possible."

I decide not to dignify that with a response.

Silence ensues for a moment or two, then finally, steeling myself to ask, I open my mouth. "Seriously, Daine, if you want to go inside, feel free. I know that Perin boy you're fond of was looking for you earlier."

"Oh?" she mumbles. "I don't want to see him tonight." I wait for her to continue. If she tells me anything, it'll be in her own good time. It's the way these things have always gone before. "He's not really interested in me."

"He seems it. How so?"

"He only wants to bed me." Her tone is light and humorous, but I can't help but feel my muscles tense at her comment. She feels it too. "I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself you know," she laughs.

"You don't want me to speak with him?" I murmur quietly.

"Goddess no! Like you did with Kaddar?"

"I was only looking out for your best interests, Daine. As my student, it's my duty to ensure your well-being. And if that involves warning off young men who know little better –"

"Firstly," she interrupts, "Kaddar was just being friendly –"

"That's not how it seemed to me," I mutter mutinously.

"And in any case," she continues, choosing to ignore my comment, "it's my business in the first place."

"If you're sure," I say.

"I am."

Silence again. It is not, however, a tense silence. We've had conversations like this before, usually occurring coincidentally around the time she finds she has a new admirer. It's not been the first, and, I admit to myself, feeling my chest squeeze painfully, it won't be the last either. I cannot admit my feelings to her. It just… it wouldn't be right for a start. I will not tarnish her reputation any more than she has already had to suffer. She's too important to hurt.

"Daine," I broach carefully.

"What?" she cannot hide the wariness in her voice.

"You know I'm here, if you ever need to talk about… anything like that," I finish stallingly. This is not the ideal question to ask her, I am well aware, and not the ideal time to be asking it either, while she is lying next to me watching the stars. But for once she is on her own with me, and we're not distracted by a call or summons.

"What do you mean?" She sits, meeting my eyes unyieldingly with her own. Gods curse her stubbornness. She is well aware of what I mean, I am sure, but I wouldn't put it beyond her to try and embarrass me further than I am already.

"About…" for once in my life, I find myself wishing I had Alanna's bluntness. "About," I take a deep breath, "sex or pregnancy or such issues." I pray that it is dark enough to hide my flushed skin.

It's not dark enough to hide hers. Maybe she didn't know what I meant. Maybe I've pushed it too far this time.

"Oh," she manages. She lies back down, missing my arm this time. I understand and lift it away. "Yes and no," she says finally.

"'Yes and no'?" I query.

"'Yes' I understand that you are there to talk to about it, and 'no', I wouldn't dream about talking to you about it."

I feel some of the tension that unconsciously formed when I asked leave my body. "I'm not sure whether to be relieved or insulted."

"Both."

"Thanks."

"Well, Numair. I am a midwife's daughter, I understand how these things work." Her frankness never ceases to amaze me. "And if I really wanted to talk about it, there are plenty of other people I would ask before you." In answer to my unspoken question, she replies. "Alanna, she's a healer. Onua, Kuri, Buri, even the Queen. George's mother, Maude at the Swoop. Then I might think about asking you."

Once again I'm not sure whether to feel relieved I'm at the end of such a long list or snubbed. "May I ask why I'm so far down your list of advisers?" I can't help it, I have to know.

"Well," she thinks for a moment. "For a start, you're male, and I wouldn't feel comfortable discussing that sort of things with most men, and if –"

"You sound fairly comfortable now," I point out.

"Yes, but we're not discussing _it_, we're discussing why we _wouldn't_ discuss _it_. Anyway," she continues, "if I was to discuss it with any male, you would probably be top of my list, but –" I feel a warped pride inside me that Daine would consider discussing her relations with me, even if I would rather not hear about her contact with other men "- the real reason I don't discuss it with you is that you're likely to turn whoever I may be discussing into a tree." There is no trace of jest in her voice.

"I'm not that bad!" I exclaim. I have her best interests at heart!

"You are," she counters. "Most men here are far too scared of you to come anywhere near me."

"Is that a bad thing?"

She doesn't answer. Clearly, this is one thing my magelet and I are not to agree on.

I sigh. "From now on magelet, I will do my best to reserve my opinions about your relationships and refrain from intimidating your suitors."

"Is that an oath?"

_No_. "If you desire it, then I will make an oath." _With as many loopholes as possible_, I think.

"No, it's all right." I try to hide my sigh of relief. "Too much to worry about just now anyway. I think I'll wait until order has been restored before I go chasing swains."

"Sensible," I tell her.

"I knew you'd approve." Her head shifts closer to me, and I know that she knows I'm not going to ask her more on the matter.

Once again silence befalls. I return my attention to the stars I am supposed to be gazing at.

"Tell me about them," she asks.

"About what, magelet?"

"About the stars."

I sigh. Which constellation would she like to hear about? I've told her the stories many times before, and I know her favourites. I take a guess.

"Well," I say, pointing to our north, the stars barely visible above the Palace. "That constellation, is, as you know, The Goddess. At her feet, not so many years ago, a new constellation appeared, The Cat."

"But how?" she asks, like I have all the answers in the world. "How did it just appear? Why was it not there before?"

"If I knew that, magelet, I would, like you claim, know all the secrets of the universe. There are many arguments as to how The Cat appeared in the sky, but I think Divine Magic is the most obvious answer. For the story of The Cat itself though, you will do best asking Alanna."

"You always say that."

"That, magelet, is because it is as much Alanna's story as it is of The Cat."

"You mean it's true?"

"I have no reason to think otherwise. I may not have met him, but, I am assured he was real, and George, Jon, Raoul and Gary of Naxen agree, as do Myles, Gareth the Elder, Thayet and Buri..." I refrain from my list making. "He was a gift, of sorts, to Alanna from the Great Mother Goddess. A mentor, if you will, to help her through the remainder of her Knight training, and to guide her afterwards. He died at Jon's coronation, killed by Princess Josianne of the Copper Isles."

Beside me Daine is silent. For a moment, it crosses my mind that my academic wonderings have sent her to sleep. It wouldn't be the first time.

That is not, however, the case. "I always thought it was just a story she used to tell Thom, Alan and Aly."

I laugh. "Alanna doesn't have the imagination to make something like that up. She's far too straightforward-thinking for that."

"Don't let her hear you say that."

"Don't tell her I said it then."

"Scared, Master Mage?"

"Only of her sword, her tongue and her temper. Not of her Gift – I can best that."

I can hear her grin in her voice. "If only she could hear you now."

"Once again, Daine, I ask you not to tell her, and then we will avoid any… confrontations," I suggest, with a lack of a better word.

"If you say so."

"I do." She nods her understanding, her head creeping closer to me again. Wordlessly I stretch my arm out for her, and her head sneaks on to it, rubbing my arm until she finally settles, comfortable. I think about how we must look from afar, to a stranger, someone not of the court who has not had our situation made clear to them time and time again. We'd look like lovers, I realise, a not uncomfortable tingling in my stomach. I wonder whether this is appropriate behaviour for me to be lying like this with her, but then no one questions it. I have the feeling no one would dare question it. Regardless of my status as a black robe, and Daine's command over a most unusual power which many regard with fear, the protection of our friends would go a long way to stopping rumours. Between Alanna, George, Jon, Thayet, Onua, Buri and Sarge, not to mention most of the Riders, the Own, several academics and nobles, we are questioned very little now on our relationship. Where it is suggested, it is merely a whisper that a look can silence.

Sometimes, I know how Daine felt when she first arrived here. I came in a similar situation, when I think about it. Betrayed by people I thought were my friends, people I thought I could trust. We both have had the nastier side of human nature used on us, both have been victim to our trust being abused. When I arrived, before I was found, I trusted no one, I moved on and on, trying to escape attention. For all the strength of my Gift, I was scared to use it in case Ozorne found me. I look at the girl – young woman now – lying on my arm, staring at the sky next to me. We both have helped each other learn to trust again, my magelet and I.

My. _My_ magelet. Is that the right word for our situation? It would decry ownership of a sort, possession. I do not own Daine, certainly. She is _my_ student however, _my_ friend, _my_ travelling companion. Is she _my_ magelet? Certainly, no one else calls her magelet; I seem to have exclusive use of that name for her. George tried once, but it wasn't right. She no longer objects to my using it; in fact, I think she likes it. If she is no one else's magelet, then she can surely be _my_ magelet. I can settle for this if nothing else. She is, and will always be, my magelet.

"Numair, what will you do when all this is over?"

"How do you mean?"

"When the war is over? What will you do?"

I ponder this question before I answer it. "Well, I think, once everything has been cleared up, I will return to my tower for a while, before it is time for me to return and teach the pages. You are more than welcome to come with me," I tell her. I know this is not the answer she is looking for though, the one I don't want to give.

"I don't mean that, although, if it's all the same, I wouldn't mind coming too, if the King allows it. I mean, will you settle down? Will you marry? Have children?"

Her unspoken question. _Where will I be?_

I try to keep my voice light. "I don't plan on settling down for a while magelet. I need to find the right woman."_ I already have_. I ignore this thought. This is not what she is looking for, is not what she deserves.

"What would she be like?" I freeze, not wanting to answer this. She props herself up on an elbow, her hair falling onto my arm. "Like Varice?" she asks wickedly, although there is more than a hint of dislike in her voice. Daine did not… like Varice.

"No, magelet, not like Varice. She is far too…" I search for the word. "Fastidious," I settle on.

"Fadstid –"

"Fastidious. Hard to please and somewhat self-involved."

"Sounds like someone not a million leagues away from where I am right now," she mutters, dropping back onto my arm.

I ignore the jibe. "Magelet, if I was to find a woman, she would have to understand many things about me. I have a thirst for the academic, for knowledge and experience. That if I have to, I will stay up until dawn searching for an ancient scroll so I can further my knowledge, or conducting an experiment."

Daine nods. "She'd have to learn to stay away from your workroom, and leave your experiments be. Your very _fastidious_ about them," she grins, pleased with herself, and I cannot but help smile too. Sometimes I forget she is just a girl from a small village in Galla, with all that we have shared.

"She'd also have to learn," Daine continues, "that if you are away from them for too long, you begin to miss your books as you would friends." I don't like the way this is going. "She'd have to understand, also, that you would need far more time than she to get ready for balls and parties, in fact, even to get up in the morning. Not that she should talk to you in the morning, or she might go the way of Tristan Staghorn, if she vexes you enough."

This is not fair.

"Your children," Daine continues to muse, "would possibly be taller than you, maybe even with a greater Gift. Regardless, you would, of course, begin reading to them from the Scrolls of Etiakret whilst in the womb, and instead of nursery rhymes and lullabies like normal children, they would hear of Sun, the Eagle of Boazan Thati –"

If she is going to insult me, she could at least ensure her facts are in order before she does so. "The eagle was called Thati, Daine, who belonged to Boazan the Sun Dancer, and I happen to feel that it is a nice story."

She snorts. "If you are interested in the transfer of magical skills between human and animal."

"You should be," I remind her.

"Your children might not be."

"Yours will." Daine laughs at this, as if it is too funny to even contemplate.

"Who, Numair, will ask for children from Sarra's bastard, a peasant girl from a village in Galla with a strange and freakish power?"

"Who's been telling you that, Daine, because you know it's untrue." I rile at this, anger heating my veins. I ignore the other voice. _Me_.

"People have been telling me all my life, Numair. People are scared of my magic, and I have always been subject to abuse over my parentage."

"Well." That is all I can manage. I cannot keep the anger out of my voice, and I know if I go any further my temper will flare.

She looks at me, amused. "Numair, I'm used to it by now, I don't really care."

"Well you shouldn't be."

"Sometimes, your protective streak goes a little too far, Numair," she tells me, her eyes dancing.

I sigh in response. She leans back down on my arm, and once more silence overtakes us. "Your wife would also have to learn to put up with me," Daine states simply after a few minutes.

"Oh?"

"You're not getting rid of me that easy, Master Numair. I'll always be around."

I grin, happy at this promise that she will always be there, even when she has a family of her own. "I wouldn't have it any other way," I tell her, and before I can stop myself, I kiss the top of her head. I swear silently to myself. I shouldn't have done that.

Daine however, continues on regardless. It would not, after all, be the first time I had given her a chaste kiss, or she I, although I am trying to avoid the situation arising now.

"Look!" she points at the sky. "_Look!_" she repeats, her finger waving in the air.

I follow the direction she is pointing in.

"It has begun," I state simply.

The meteor shower we have been lying here waiting to watch for nearly an hour has finally begun. Stars fall endlessly, second after second, minute after minute. I sneak a glimpse at my companion. Her eyes are shining, her face in awe, as she is lost in the beauty of it all. _I know how she feels_, I tell myself, before mentally kicking myself and returning my gaze to the sky above.

We lie in silence, watching the display, one that could be sent from the Gods themselves. Indeed, there are many arguments that they are, but now is not the time to debate them. If I ever get to meet a Great God, I promise myself, and if I have the nerve, I add, I will ask them of the origins of a spectacle such as this. Maybe Daine could do it.

When it is over, we lie in silence, Daine, I presume, still wondering at beauty of it, I, not wanting to spoil the calm atmosphere between us.

Midnight. The Hour is called, the silence is broken. Midnight. I pick the woman who is lying next to me up, cradling my magelet in my arms as I carry her to her rooms in the Rider Barracks. She is fast asleep, and turns into my chest as I lift her. For a moment I freeze, savouring the situation I find myself in. Then I carry her to her bed. She stirs lightly as I lay her down on her bed, folding the blankets over her and sliding her shoes off. I dare not take off anymore. I slide out of her room, leaving the door ajar slightly for her animal friends, taking one last look at her as she sleeps.

Midnight. I am alone once more.

That is how it shall stay.


End file.
